


Revenge of the Angels

by offkilterninja



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Elaborate plots to ruin weddings, Falling In Love, M/M, based on Revenge of the Bridesmaids, that gay shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 18:18:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17064740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/offkilterninja/pseuds/offkilterninja
Summary: So when their youngest sibling has the love of his life stolen by literally the bitchiest bitch to ever exist, Castiel and Gabriel can't just sit idly by. They just have to ruin the wedding.





	Revenge of the Angels

_Okay, look, now I know you’re probably wondering how a cutie pie like me could ever end up in jail, but let me tell you why I’m here. I’m Gabriel Novak_ **and I’m Castiel Novak. We’re the adopted children of Chuck Shurley. well, two of them.** **And we just wanted to ruin a wedding.** _That might sound bad but when a blood sucking bitch steals the love of your little brother’s life, you kind of abandon some of your morals._ **In all honesty, we did it for Samandriel, really. Our youngest brother; the only nice one of the bunch of us. He doesn’t deserve this.** _That was the idea anyway. The fact that Andrea has always been a class A bitch is really just a plus._ **_And we’re the bridesmen._** _Not the good kind who love the bride like a sister and want to make her wedding the most special day ever, no._ **We’re more like the “Avenging Angels who are gonna give you what’s coming to you” type of bridesmen.**

  
**You’re coming in in the middle of things. Let’s go back a few years. You need to meet the 4th member of our group- Andrea Kormos.** _Now think of the bitchiest bitch you’ve ever met, multiply that by 1,000 and then add some more, now you’ve got a small taste of who Andrea is. She lives in a house so big it has its own name, Bellefontaine. Andrea lived-lives here with her mother and occasional stepfather._ **Thank dad she was an only child, she didn’t like sharing. She much prefered taking. But we didn’t mind, we were enchanted by Bellefontaine.** _We were the only kids in the area the same age as her so we had tea parties and picnics on the lawn. And it got pretty old doing the same things and listening to Andrea blab about how much better her life was, so we played our own version of hide and seek._ **We called it “I know a place where Andrea can’t find us…” It was a pretty place under a cherry tree. Then Samandriel would feel guilty and make us go back.** _To listen to Andrea, talk about Andrea, and tell stories about Andrea._ **Her favorite game was wedding, y’know standing on her front lawn at 9 years old wearing a wedding dress. And if we complained about how a groom was necessary, she would complain to her mother.** _And this was our life with Andrea, she called the shots, she made the rules. Why? It was a small town, you took what you could get, and in Lawrence, Kansas, we got Ms. Andrea Kormos. After graduation Cas and I headed for New York and I’m trying to open a bakery. Cas took the acting route and did some off Broadway (read: off, off, off Broadway) plays._ **We always kept in touch with Samandriel, who never left Lawrence. He started dating this guy Benny, and was convinced he was the one. We headed back this year for our dad’s retirement party, which brings us to our current situation.**

Cas and Gabriel sat around a table full of their siblings asking why they weren’t rich or married yet. “Castiel, you act in plays all the time don’t you?” “U-um,” he stuttered, “I audition all the time.” Multiple pairs of eyes blinked at him, “And, uhm, sometimes I get call backs, which is like a chance to audition again.” More stares. “Y’know what, he’s just constantly in plays.” Gabriel interrupted, “Can’t get him off the stage.” His siblings smiled and nodded. “You gotta lie to them,” Gabriel muttered in his ear, “tell them what they want to hear.” “How about you Gabe?” Michael asked, “Have you opened your shop yet?” Gabriel’s mind went blank and he stared ahead. “Almost,” Cas answered for him. “Just need to sign the lease, which we will be doing as soon as we get back. Right, Gabriel?” He chuckled weakly in response. “I’m going to check my voicemail.” Cas said, standing up, bringing Gabe with him. “Is it about an audition?” Lucifer called. “Maybe.”

“Isn’t it lovely to be back,” Gabriel said as they rushed outside, “surrounded by the familiar faces that ruined your childhood.” “Air,” Cas said, “I need air.” “We’re outside.” Gabriel shot back. “Air without… Siblings.” he said, taking a gulp of the beer he was nursing. “Tell me about it, just wait until Michael and Lucifer start going at it.” They heard high pitched squeals, “Castiel! And Gabriel-no- Gabriel Novak!” “Oh dear dad, it’s Andrea,” Gabriel breathed out. “Run for your life.” “I can’t I’ll spill my beer on my coat.”

They turned wearily to see Andrea wearing her perfect smile. “Get over here, guys!” She gave them each exaggerated air kisses and called her mother over. “Mother! You remember Gabriel and Castiel!” Naomi Kormos lowered her sunglasses and looked at them. “Yes.” she said, clearly not remembering them. Gabriel rolled his eye and then spotted Samandriel behind the posse of girls around Andrea, eyes flitting nervously.

“Samandriel!” They rushed over to him and hugged him tightly. “Hey, what happened bro? I’ve been trying to reach you. Did you changed your number?” He looked up at them shyly. “I-I…” “Oh my, you don’t even know why I’m here.” Andrea said in her soft voice. “To ruin our lives?” Gabriel said under his breath. “These,” she gestured to the women around her, “are my bridesmaids.” She raised her left hand, “I’m getting married!” “Gabriel quirked his eyebrow as Cas tilted his head and Samandriel lowered his eyes. “To a person or a chair?”

Andrea looked at him for a second before waving him off, “Oh, Gabriel, I missed your little quips.” He gave her a fake smile. “The weddings in 10 days. Oh, yes, I tried to invite you but mother couldn’t find your address anywhere.” “Oh, I’m sure if you called our dad, or one of our many, many siblings they could've helped you. 40 years in the same house and all.” Andrea turned to her mother with an amused face. “Of course. Mother!” Naomi gave the fakest apologetic grin before running off to greet more people.

“So,” Andrea continued to smile, “are you coming to the wedding?” “Ooh.” Gabriel cringed, “yeah, I have to do… stuff. You Y’know rebleach my hair.” She waved him off, “Oh, you and your little comments, Gabriel.” she leaned in, like she was telling a secret but said quite loudly, “You know you want to come to this wedding.” she straightened and turned to look at her posse. “Let me introduce you to my bridesmaids/man. Samandriel you know of course.” she subtly rolled her eyes and smiled brightly, “And these are my actual, super bridesmaids. Lilith, Ruby, and Bela. Bela here is my maid of honor.” The slim brunette smiled and spoke in a British accent, “Hello.” Ruby looked up at Lilith nervously and when the blonde nodded she smiled. Then the women distracted as Bela insisted they take a picture.

Cas turned to Samandriel and shoulder bumped him, “So is Benny going to be there, I've been waiting to meet him.” the younger went pale and nodded slowly, “Well, yes… but, umm.” He was interrupted by Andrea saying, “And there’s my handsome groom.” A big, blue eyed man slipped past and made brief eye contact with Samandriel before the latter lowered his eyes and his jaw quivered ever so slightly. Cas and Gabriel recognized him as Benny. Like, Samandriel’s “the one” Benny. They whipped their heads around to stare at the man as he kissed Andrea. “Hey, babe.” they felt Samandriel hurriedly brush past them to go inside.Benny slipped one arm around Andrea’s waist and led her to some of their siblings.

They gaped after them until a deep voice said, “Close your mouths.” they snapped them shut. “Let me guess, old friends of Samandriel’s?” “Brothers,” Cas corrected, not looking at who had spoke. “Haven't seen him in a while?” they shook their heads. “Well, yeah, that's the Benny Samandriel used to date. But we're supposed to deny that ever happened so this is me, denying.” they finally turned around and Cas’s eyes went round and he blushed.

The man had green eyes and freckles scattered across his cheeks and nose. He was easily one of the hottest men he had ever laid eyes on. “You're Dean Winchester,” Gabriel observed, “you used to have big ears and a hot brother.” the man- Dean- coughed awkwardly, “Well, I grew into my ears and Sam’s over there if you want to say hi.” He pointed over to the brunette who was talking to Ruby and obviously planning his escape. Gabriel turned, “Holy shit, he turned into a moose.” he whispered. “I think I will go say hi.”

Cas continued to stare at Dean until he realized how awkward he was being and said quickly, “I don't remember you.” ‘Oh wow. A+ work Cas, tell the hot guy you don't remember him.’ Dean furrowed his brow. “Oh, well, we had 3 classes together and you were my lab partner in Bio.” Cas gasped, “What?” Dean grinned, “Nah, I'm just kidding. I was 3 years older and spent most of high school tripping over my ears.” “Oh.” Cas sighed in relief. “So, what brings you back to Lawrence?” “Dad’s retirement party.” “You're one of Chuck’s kids?” Dean practically shouted. Cas frowned up at him. “Oh, wow that came out bad. Let's try that again. So, you're one of Chuck's kids. That… didn't sound any better.” Cas smiled softly and looked down, “It's fine. We don't have the best reputation.”

Their conversation was interrupted by Gabriel grabbing Cas by his arm. Ruby was still trying to grab all of Sam’s attention and flirt horribly and Gabriel glared at her once more before turning to Cas, “We should go check on Samandriel. If he's had to spend this much time around those bitches, he's dangerously close to metal breakdown.”

They found Samandriel by the sound of his sobs. “Alfie, you okay?” Cas used his childhood nickname. “Yeah, why didn't you tell us about this?” “Because,” he hiccuped, “I knew you would yell at me.” “No we wou-” Cas was cut off by Gabriel rattling the doorknob, “Damn fucking right!” Samandriel slowly opened the door to reveal his bloodshot eyes and puffy cheeks. “What the fuck happened?” Gabriel demanded. “We had… an argument and broke up. And when I called to say I was sorry, he umm, he had already moved on.” he paused, “And then was engaged.” “And when Andrea asked you to be a bridesman, you said yes?” Samandriel nodded, eyes downcast. “Why?” “Because I was raised correctly?” Gabriel and Cas rolled their eyes. “And now I'm going to march down that aisle and show all of Lawrence, Kansas that I am completely and utterly over Benny Lafitte.” his face crumpled and he started sobbing again, “I can't do this.” “Bulletproof plan, kiddo.” The sounds of giggles floated into the room and Lilith and Ruby in quick succession. “Oh, hello. Is he okay?” Samandriel hid his face is Cas’s trenchcoat. “Oh, yeah,” Gabriel nodded, “he's fine. But,” he lowered his voice, “he just found out his phone plan doesn't have unlimited data.” the girls gasped, “Oh that poor boy,” Lilith put her hand over her heart, “You should've just asked Ruby. She knows all the data plans.” Ruby smiled sweetly, “But Lilith knows where to find the best froyo anywhere.” “Oh, that's… interesting.” they waved goodbye and left.

Back in Heaven (the kids’ fond name for their childhood home) Cas and Gabe sulked. “I can't fucking believe her.” Gabriel growled and leaned back against the couch, a bottle of wine in his hand. “That man stealing slutbag.” Cas’s face pinched up in confusion as he grabbed a few glasses, “I don't understand. How does one even go from Samandriel to Andrea? What does he even see in her?” “Boobs. He's a guy.”

Michael leaned against the fridge, texting, “It's a business transaction.” he said absently. They looked at him and he quickly turned to leave. “I really shouldn't say anything about it.” Gabriel handed him a glass, “Have some wine, Michael.” “Did you hear something at the office?” Michael stayed silent. “Mika?” Gabriel prompted. Michael sighed, “3 months ago, Naomi put Bellefontaine up for sale.” “What?” Gabriel exclaimed. “They’ve owned that place forever.” Castiel added. Lucifer came in and grabbed a glass as well, “Naomi ran through Husband #3’s money pretty quick and was having trouble finding #4.” he poured the rest of Michael’s glass into his and received a glare to which he responded by sticking out his tongue. Gabriel nodded sagely, “Gold digging is a young person’s game.” Lucifer took a gulp of his wine before continuing, “And Benny’s family?” “Loaded.” Michael finished for him. “Wow, this is a traditional marriage if I ever did see one.” Michael nodded and stole Lucifer’s glass and was about to take a sip before they were called by their father. “See you guys.”

They raised their glasses to him. “That makes sense for Andrea’s part, but what the hell is Benny doing?” Gabriel flipped through their movies before picking out the Notebook and pooping it in their ancient DVD player. “Ugh, romantic movies have it all wrong.” Cas muttered. “Adorable couple stumbles around for 2 hours before some completely avoidable miscommunicative plot device comes along, drives them apart. And then magically makes them realize they're made to be together. That never happens,” he paused, “Action movies have it right.” “You hate action movies.” Gabriel reminded him. “Yes, because they're right. In action movies, there’s SWAT teams and guns and death. And that’s what you need to make love work: blood and sacrifice and pain.” “That’s dramatic.” Gabriel quipped.

“Has Bartholomew called you yet?” Cas gave him a frustrated look, “No, he’s flying to L.A. with his cute scene partner that he swears he’s not sleeping with HA.” Gabriel joined in and they said the last few words in unison. “Don’t date actors, Cas.” Gabe patted him on the shoulder. Cas pouted, “Who else do I date, then. I can’t meet anyone else.” “You met that cute guy Dean today. He liked you.” Cas frowned and opened another wine bottle aggressively, “He’s a trap. There’s like 300 of them in every home town. Nice, unassuming guy, you go out for one date then bam. You wake up 10 years later with 6 kids and a suburban house.”

Gabriel looked at him, amused, “You like him,” he sang, “you really, really like him.” “I d-do not,” Cas took a big gulp of wine to cover his spreading blush. “What are you gonna say when he calls you?” “Nothing because he’s not gonna call me. The only people that call me are jerks who screw their scene partners. And besides that, what are we gonna do about Alfie and Andrea?” “I say we fuck shit up and break up Andrea and Benny.” “Okay that’s enough for tonight.” Cas grabbed Gabe’s wine glass and put it out of reach. “No, I’m serious. That’s what Chris Evans or Chadwick Boseman or any other of those hot action guys would do. Sneak in and turn shit sideways, Cassie.” “Gabe, come on, what are we gonna do? Disguise ourselves as German officers?” Gabe stared at him and in a deadpan said, “Exactly.” “Gabriel, what the hell are you talking about?” “I’m saying we wear the uniform of the enemy.” He gestured down at his body, “Bridesmen.” Castiel sighed and rubbed his forehead, “She already has her bridesmaids/man.” Gabe shrugged, “Okay, then two of them have a “little accident”. Castiel,” the younger looked at him, “if anyone deserves to be knocked down a couple of pegs, it’s Andrea. Samandriel had one thing he loved in life and Andrea took it. Are you with me?” “What makes you think we can take down Andrea?” “We can do anything, why?” Gabe shot off the couch and stood proudly, “Because we are sophisticated babes from New York. We can do anything.” “Babes?” Cas repeated, smirking. “Yup.” “Okay, I’m in.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I started this forever ago and just rediscovered it and was like??? why did I stop. I'm debating making Michael and Lucifer a thing so your opinions on that would be nice. Thanks for reading!!


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